AND Joined Weight Watchers :)

Ok...big day!   After speaking with a few people and sitting and thinking about how I have been struggling I went ahead and joined weight watchers... I signed up for the support AND meeting.  Years back I did try weight watchers for three months (before 2008 when I got married) but I did not do the meetings.  I quickly lost track.   I remember I found it helpful but overwhelming.   The decision also came when I look at the introduction to Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst.

They talk about how it isn't the 'how to' that is missing, it is the want to.  I was sitting there thinking looking at pictures of myself from years back and I realized maybe I need more work on the 'how to.'
Something that Lysa said stuck out to me, "I've struggled way to long with food choices and my weight."

When I posted the blog before this earlier this morning I had a surprise when I looked at facebook.  It was a picture of my husband and myself from like 2009.   Wow, I look at the girl and want anything to be where she is at.

It struck me then...even when I was there, I still wanted to lose more.  I was just as desperate, confused, and frustrated and yearning to get down at least 20 more lbs (I was around 160lbs at the time).   I was struggling physically, mentally, spiritually back then too.

I want to post another picture now...



That is me now.  I am still there...same girl but about 70 more points.  That isn't the main focus of my picture though, it is the little gal with the Minnie Mouse ears.   Our little toddler Cora.  I want this on so many levels for her.  I want to be healthy and be around for a long time.  Diabetes runs in our family and heart disease.   I also want to, need to be a good role model for her.  I've struggled with weight sense elementary school.  I really don't want that for her.  There is enough tough stuff out in the world than for her to be struggling with weight and health.

Ok, so after I read the introduction to the book (or reread really) and joined Weight Watchers and played around on the website/setting up my meal plan for the day using the point system (very cool and much easier than what I was doing before...I did see when I entered what I have eaten today and was planning to eat I still had another 4 points to use up somewhere and in WW they want you to eat your points...I am pretty sure if I would have entered stuff from previous days I would find he same) I followed through with more of my plans and got on our elliptical machine!  Woot woot!

I really had a kick butt exercise.  My overall goal is to get a good workout in 3 or 4 days out of every 7.  So far I am right on track.   Currently I am watching Gilmore Girls while working out (and am saving the show JUST for when I work out, just getting into Season 1).

After my workout I sat down the the book and looked through Chapter 1.   One thing that stuck out to me was her statement, "we crave what we eat."

I am sitting here thinking...yeah, I have not really had an overload of sweats in two weeks now.  I can think back fairly recently to having moments in the day when I wanted something sweet like that very moment!   I can honestly say I have not had that for over two weeks.  

The chapter focuses a lot on the word craving.  Dictionary.com (this book states) defines cravings as something you long for, want greatly, desire eagerly, and beg for.

Thinking about how I had just used the word craving as craving something sweet.  That is not right, we are meant to crave but NOT chocolate, not coffee, not comfort food, but God!  Only God!

I do crave God.  I've known that, tried to redirect my cravings and constantly keep failing.  I won't be defeated though because I will never give up or give in.   Giving in would be easy.  I wanted to give in yesterday when I got on the scale and saw that after all of my hard work I was UP almost 5lbs.  Wanted to throw my spinach out the window and splurge on cheese its.   I wanted to give in when I got into an argument with someone close to me and wanted to turn to comfort food.  I didn't.   Will I always resist, no.   Will the object of my true craving always be.  YES!  Thank the Lord!

I am going to end this blog with this week's verse.   "Everything is permissible' --but not everything is beneficial."

I could have turned to food for comfort, it would have been ok.  It would not have benefited me in any way.  Writing down my feelings, turning to the scriptures, or phoning a friend is.  It would have been ok if I would have bought a suggary fatty chocolate treat while shopping and eaten it on the way home and hidden the wrapper (...never done that before...lol), but it would not have helped.   Having a snack before shopping would have been better.  

So, there are 6 chapters to this baby and I read the 1st.  Each chapter is supposed to last a week and I have written enough for now.  I am going to do the personal reflection later.

Thanks for reading!